Last night, I had a strange dream. I was with Doreen Virtue and somehow, she and I had a joint heir, a small girl child. In the dream, I had left Doreen with the child on a park bench, not intending to revisit them any time soon but I had a change of heart because of my love for that child. So I returned and kneeled down by the child who was sitting on the bench next to Doreen.
I took the baby girl’s hands and held them in mine. The girl was not yet old enough to speak, or if she was, she chose not to. I looked at the girl and then at Doreen and said, ‘This girl has love in her hands.’ The girl’s hands were strong and full of vitality. There was no animosity between myself and Doreen in the dream.
The World Did Not Forget
The decision to return to what had been born from my actions and accusations of Doreen Virtue back in 2017/2018 was taken from me last night with this dream and thanks to this post by Reiki Doc (Carla). Now, I didn’t know about this post until after I woke up from the dream…
Apart from some factual errors with regards to my name (my family name reflects that I remarried in 2015 and I now go by Frideborg/Free, not Lisa), she is spot on. I was indeed at the helm of holding Doreen Virtue accountable for her lies at the time. She, in turn, threatened to sue for slander (never happened) and it was one big stink.
The whole situation was a massive drain on my energy and I was contacted by many people who claimed to have inside information to prove that Doreen was lying. Their motives were probably not always pure.
I take this dream as a sign that I must revisit what I created and turn bitterness into love. We are all accountable for our creations. The first step is to admit my own wrongdoing in all of this: I should not have appointed myself jury, judge and executioner for all that happened when Doreen extricated herself from the New Age.
My motives were a mix of pure and self-serving. I was angry. Had I known God’s peace back then, my actions would have been different. I’m not saying this to defend what Doreen did, just to say that not everything I did was done out of love or for ‘the greater good,’ though I convinced myself that was the case.
Ultimately, many New Agers turned away from idol worship and back to the one true God thanks to Doreen. Nobody can take that away from her, no matter whatever else was going on.
Lack of Trust
My own problem that caused me to relish creating a stink about any wrongdoing on Doreen’s behalf was that I very nearly surrendered my own life back into the hands of God around the same time. However, instead of fastening my eyes on Him, I turned around to seek out human wrongdoing. I can see now that this was the enemy’s way of keeping me for as long as he could.
This was not the first time that I nearly returned to the faith of my youth. Once you have met Jesus, deep down, you know there is no substitute, nor peace, anywhere else. Instead of cultivating my relationship with God in my 20’s, I veered off into theological studies and debates which eventually all but killed my faith. My intellectual pride was my biggest stumbling block.
Coming out the other side, having surrendered, repented and returned to the Good Shepherd, I know that it is about relationship, not doxa or dogma… Relationship requires trust and I didn’t have any. I could go into the reasons for why (abusive childhood and horrible treatment by church members) but the reasons don’t really matter; I repented and I keep repenting whenever I feel tempted to revert back to my old ways of having to ‘be right.’
What matters is that healing finally did take place (Praise the Lord!)… to the point where I can now give thanks for Doreen. I’m not perfect myself and had no right to incite a riot against her… At the time it satisfied my feelings of betrayal and the anger I felt. I am sorry.
Thank you, Reiki Doc
Carla, thank you so much for writing that post! Responding to it has set me free in more ways than one. You know that I have left all things of the New Age behind thanks to Jesus. There is no room for trying to fix myself any more. All that is good in my life is by grace and grace alone.
The supernatural gifts are in the Christian faith too. Please go to the Book of Acts to find out more. There is no need to turn to the counterfeit magic of the NWO to experience miracles. Like you, Carla, I studied Reiki (and other ‘energy healing’ modalities) but the only true healing miracles I experienced happened in the name of Jesus Christ. I have written about them before and may have to revisit them for this new blog. There is only one Jesus and His name is not ‘Ross.’